Smartphone uses love Siri and other phone voices. We Americans are fascinated with accents, whether it be from other parts of the country or foreign nations. There’s technology to combine both.
Eventually, that robotic smartphone voice is going to get tired. For some, it already may be tiresome. Now, your phone can speak in a British accent. This works for both Apple and Android based devices. For iPhone, open Settings, the Siri, then Siri voice, and choose the accent option. So far, there’s male, female, American, Australian, and British. For Android devices, tap the menu icon on the Google Now screen. Then tap Voice, then tap Language. They have many languages to choose from, including several English languages. Choose English UK. There you have your British accents. Don’t expect Paul McCartney, Julie Andrews, or any spectacular, breathtaking British accent with this option, anymore than you should expect James Earl Jones or Morgan Freemen when you choose the male and American options. The British voice is just as generic and almost as robotic as the American option. I haven’t heard the Australian option yet, but I wouldn’t expect Hugh Jackman or Olivia Newton-John to direct your GPS, either.
But the phone accents they have now is a great start. But it’s just a start. I’d like them to add more accents. How about the French, German, Italian, Mexican, Brazilian, or Jamaican accents. While Android offers different languages, and that’s great, but I’m talking about English language with these accents. Let’s take it even further. How would you like different access from different regions of the US? Obviously, not all Americans sound the same. We could have a Boston accent. We could have a Brooklyn accent. We could have a Southern accent. We could have a California Valley Girl accent. What accent would you like your smartphone voice to have?
Now you can with the Star Wars waffle. That’s right. For around $30, you can get a waffle maker that produces this breakfast staple in the shape of Death Star. Finally, you can begin your day with the planet destroying menacing military battle station staring at you. For no extra charge, you can imagine which Death Star you want to devour. Will it be the one destroyed by Luke Skywalker and Hans Solo or the one destroyed by Wedge Antilles? I’ll opt for the first one. So if a geek is at the breakfast table yelling, “Your lack of (syrup, Nutella, whip cream, strawberries, sugar powder, etc) disturbs me!”, you can blame it on the Star Wars waffle maker. But wait…there’s more. Why just have Star Wars in the morning when you can take the force all day? For you ladies, this is where these high heel shoes come in. You can be the envy of the club, party, or social gathering of your choice with these Star Wars shoes. They’re only $320 (you can hint the sarcasm there, right?).
The Star Wars waffle is something I wouldn’t mind trying. But come on: Can’t this waffle have more Star Wars icons to offer? This is one of the most successful movie franchises of all-time! They have countless icons to choose from. For example, who wouldn’t want to devour Darth Vadar before facing teachers, bosses, classmates and colleagues? That’s the way to start a day! But let’s talk about these shoes. These clownish, expensive shoes. Well, they’re great for Halloween and Mardi Gras. But would you even want to be caught in shoes like these in bed, much less out on the town?
It’s Halloween again. Still deciding what your costume should be? We at Computer Geeks are here to help with our top ten tech Halloween costumes.
10. Steve Jobs: With the biopic out, why not? He’s pretty simple to pull off: glasses, black turtleneck, New Balance sneakers, jeans.
9. Black/White/Gold Dress: Over the past year, this head-scratching color changing dress has been a social media icon.
8. Any Mortal Kombat X Character: It’s the top selling video game of the year and even more intense than it was 20+ years ago. This game is the reason why video games are age restricted. Get over here!
7. Emoji: Some say they’re cute. Some say they’re funny. Some say they’re annoying. But these social media icon faces will definately get you noticed.
6. Kermit the Frog Sipping Tea: Then there’s this social media phenomenon. You’re spending all this money on Halloween but forget Christmas is under two months away. But that’s none of my business.
5. Any Retro Video Game Character: Pac-Man, Super Mario Brothers, Zelda, Sonic the Hedgehog, and others allow us older gamers to relive memories. They also teach the young folk about about how we used to play. Who knows what Q Bert is?
4. Astronaut: It’s classic, but always work. It’s a good way to honor these space and tech geniuses who paved the wave for us. You can even carry some Tang around.
3. Any Star Trek Character: Did you know we’re coming up on the 50th anniversary of this historic TV franchise? Beam me up!
2. Minecraft: They’re simple to do. All you need is a cardboard box, Minecraft printouts, glue, scissors and tape. It’s a ?budget friendly costume as well.
1. ?Any Star Wars Character: It’s back! Star Wars VII will be released in December 2015. There’re many Star Wars fans (sorry, I’m not one of them). How much Darth Vader, Luke Skywalker, Yoda, and Princess Lela ?will we see this year?
Everyone loves the emoji. What better way to express yourself than the cute little faces and symbols one can put in emails and social media posts? But there is new emoji coming out that isn’t so cute.
The undesirable emoji I refer to is the middle finger emoji. It’s officially called Unicode 7. It took 15 months for it to be approved. It will be available on iOS 9.1. At the Apple conference last Wednesday, a lot of new emoji symbols were introduced, such as the hot dog, taco, burrito, champagne bottle, unicorn, even a Jewish synagogue. But the one that stands out to me is this very direct middle finger that needs no translation. To be fair, the signal has always been in the computer world somehow. Emoji One, What’s App, and Windows 10 has the finger cartoon. But Apple’s 9.1 version has the best version (if you want to call it that) of it. Let’s say you wanted to upset someone. You had these four finger versions to choose from. You’d want to choose the iOS 9.1 version. Don’t go rushing to your iPhone device to get this emoji yet. It won’t be available until next year. I’m sure there are those, including some of you reading this, that can’t hold out that long.
From an economic standpoint, this emoji is going to be a huge seller. I just feel it. I am totally for free speech and First Amendment rights! I hate censorship. So I don’t think this emoji should be taken down by any means. But I?have to throw my moral card down. Isn’t there enough hatred and anger in the world today? Does Apple really want to add anymore? If you’re dissatisfied with something, or someone, isn’t there another, more dignified emoji you can send? Yes, the middle finger emoji is legal and constitutional. But is it responsible and is it right?
The world is very different from what it was in 2000, or 2005 for that matter. In the last ten years or so, social media and smartphones have changed the way we do everything. They’re even changing the way we handle divorce.
Let me introduce the new social media craze: divorce selfies. When a married couple seeks divorce and the divorce is finalized, the former couple take one last selfie. These selfies are often happy, funny, even celebratory. For example, take Chris and Shannon Neuman from Calgary, Alberta, Canada ?(look at the picture above). After their divorce went final, they took a smiling selfie. With the picture, Shannon posted, “Here’s Chris Newman and I yesterday after filing for divorce! But we’re smiling?! Yep, we’re cooky like that.” This picture went on Facebook. Their post has been shared over 36,000 times…in one day! They said they went this route because they wanted an honorable end to their marriage and move forward as parenting partners to their kids. There’s more where that came from. There’s one picture of a couple with their divorce certificate, with thumbs up and quoting, “They couldn’t wait to sign.” Another smiling divorced couple posted their selfie with the quote, “Because you can get divorced while smiling.” There’s another young former couple giving peace signs saying, “Awww look, even kids have been doing it.” I can go on and on.
There may be some moralist out there who say, “How can anybody celebrate a divorce or treat a divorce in this fashion?” But I don’t see it that way. I applaud how these couples are handling a difficult situation. Shannon Neuman said it best. Keep it civil and respectable for the sake of the children. I’ve read too many stories of divorces ending in unspeakable tragedy. I’ve seen people who get totally depressed and even suicidal after divorce. I’m glad these couples can hold their head high, and even make fun of themselves through it. So you still say divorce selfies are wrong? What’s the alternative?
Listen, we all like to party. Heck, yesterday was May the 4th and we here at Computer Geeks went nuts. But today is Cinco De Mayo, a day littered with Corona’s and many many drunk encounters. So we’ve decided to hand out some advice to those of you really looking to go nuts today. Your electronics are EXPENSIVE, and one day of partying shouldn’t cost you an arm and a leg. So before you decide to pop open that first cerveza, and smoosh your little lime wedge to the bottom, take our advice: Hide your electronics! Here are a list of potential drunk disasters that await those who do not heed our advice…
1. Beer Spill on your $1800 MacBook
I wish I could tell you that this is not common, but it is all too common. People drink near their laptops, people drink near their VERY EXPENSIVE laptops. All it takes is a spill of 1oz of beer on the keyboard of a MAC and your computer is toast. If you find yourself in this situation (because you didn’t listen) you will need to do a few things to save it.
1. Flip it upside-down
2. Power it off immediately
3. Wait 48 hours to let it dry
4. Call a professional to clean it out (800) 433-5435
2. Cell Phone Disaster
There are few things that drunk people do really well, but one of them is dropping their phone. Whether it is in the toilet or on the pavement, you’re in trouble. iPhone 6 plus broken screen is $450 to fix, and if you drop it in the toilet the phone replacement will be double that. Don’t use your phone in the bathroom, and don’t play with it outside, it is your best bet to keep that expensive little toy in your pocket safe. If you wreck your phone, check out our repair page
3. Go Party at someone else’s house
I mean it, you don’t need to host this gathering. Host Thanksgiving dinner, or Christmas, but for God’s sake, don’t host a party for a day full of drinking Corona’s. You know that 60 inch TV you love so much? It only takes 1 moron to crash into it, to ruin it FOREVER. Your tablets that are lying around become frisbees, or just unfortunate objects people sit on and crush. Go destroy a friend’s house, and take away the risk.
So go out, have fun, drink a few cervezas for us, but keep your electronics at home where they are safe. And if you do happen to have an accident, give us a call or send us a message and we will come to the rescue!
