Now, let’s focus on the worst holiday gifts of 2013. Fruitcake isn’t on this list; that should be a given.
10. The Internship DVD: Two middle aged guys take a Google internship. It was supposed to speak to a generation of displaced economic downtrodden people. It spoke to nearly no one.
9. DNA Testing Kit: Nothing says ‘I Love You’ like questioning the paternity of your child. Maury Povich, here we come.
8. Star Wars Cuff Links: Normally, I’d endorse anything Star Wars to the tech crowd. But would you pay $200 for this humiliation? The only time this would work is a Star Wars themed wedding or funeral. I better not encourage anybody.
7. Tria Hair Removal System: This monstrosity cost $475. And paying this much to tell someone they need to shave around their bodies? Good luck with that.
6. Touch Screen Gloves: Do I decide between smudges or frustration of not getting to my apps? I think I’ll take the smudge.
5. Electronic Hand Moisturizer: Since that $5 bottle of lotion isn’t doing the trick, let the $120 machine do it for you.
4. Talking Watch Best Friend: As if social media haven’t messed up enough socially, you can make a watch your best friend. If you’re that socially deprived, remind me to pray for you.
3. Pocket Therapist: Let’s not stop with the watch, how would you like your own pocket to ask you, “How does it feel when they do that?”
2. Magic Wand Remote Control: If you want to relieve Disney’s Fantasia or Harry Potter, more power to you. There’s some TV show I’d like to make disappear.
1. Jobs DVD: It’s been voted one of the worst movies of 2013. I couldn’t even watch the first 20 minutes of it. It was a box office failure. I know what I’m getting my former bully this year!
What are some of your worst Christmas gifts?